Today at Starbucks an odd thing happened to me for a second time, and per my statistics professor's apocryphal admonition that "you can't tell anything from one data point," I now feel free to comment on it. The scenario was the same both times, even though it happened at two different Starbucks franchises (which I think says something both about Starbucks and about me). I ordered a tall chai. Due to a handwriting mishap that predictably results from writing on a curved surface with a slippery pen, the barista misread the notation and made me a tall caramel macchiato. It's an understandable error, so without ire I asked them to make me a chai instead. And both times, what appeared on the coffee bar was that veritable tower of caffeine known as the venti. I let it sit on the bar on the assumption that it wasn't mine, and had to be prompted by the unnecessarily contrite barista. When I finally picked it up in that gingerly way that is the usual manner of the politely unsure, I was given the same explanation both times, "I upgraded you!"
I feel like Starbucks fundamentally misunderstands my motives in ordering the second smallest size. I ordered a tall instead of a venti, not because I lacked the resources or wherewithal to do so, but because I just didn't want that much to drink. I still don't, in fact. And because I am an Asian female, and therefore pathologically unable to throw away food, I am now stuck carrying around this pail of lukewarm chai all day, like some demented boho milkmaid.
So...would anyone like any chai?