Tuesday, January 8, 2008

the age of impertinence

We're going to the Opera! We (i.e., mikaydee's colorful cast of characters, PM, MP, and RM) just bought the tickets yesterday, and we are psyched to go all out: long gloves for the ladies, tuxes for the gentlemen, monocles for all! The crowning achievement of this exercise in vaguely satirical cultural pageantry would of course be a fur stole, the kind with the head, paws, and tail still attached.

The online box office page had a "how did you hear about us?" drop down menu, and none of the options adequately captured the accurate answer for us, which would have been something like "we live in this city, and we wanted to see an opera, so we googled the name of the city and the word 'opera'....welcome to the 21st Century" or perhaps, "logic dictates that you must exist." We settled on "from a friend."

This experience with poor survey methodology led predictably to the following mikaydee/PM brainchild:

The United States Federal Government: How Did You Hear About Us?
- word of mouth
- we strafe bombed your village
- we rebuilt your country following a major world conflict
- from a friend
- you fought a proxy war for us
- you fought a proxy war against us
- we supervised free and fair elections in your country
- we supported a brutal totalitarian kleptocrat in your country
- Baywatch
- propaganda [From where? (a) Politburo, (b) Al Jazeera, (c) CIA]
- you were tortured....but not by us* (*we deny any and all knowledge of and/or liability for positive responses)
- you own some of our national debt [How much of our national debt do you own? Enter a number between 0.01 and 9,203,378,381,250.93: $____]
- the internet

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