a series of vignettes, for your contemplation or enjoyment, but not both

Over a period of years, my mother discovers the internet:

I.

Mother: I asked your cousin to look for information about this on the internet, but could you do it too?

Me: Um, I could....but why?

Mother: His internet could be different!

II.

Mother: [Your aunt] just emailed me a story about a man who died of a ruptured colon.

Me: Ew!

Mother: (sotto voce) It was because he was having sex with a horse!

Me: MOM!....Oh, I think I got that email, too.

Mother: At first, I thought maybe he died because the horse kicked him in the head when he tried,...you know....But it was because the horse was the one that--

Me: I'M LEAVING NOW!

III.

Mother: Could you set up our universal remote?

Sibling{2/4}(professional IT guy): Sure, do you have the manual? Otherwise I can't find the right codes.

Mother: Can't you just look it up on the internet?

Sibling{2/4}: (stunned silence....looks around to see if he just stepped through a wormhole)

FIN