Wednesday, October 24, 2007

a series of vignettes, for your contemplation or enjoyment, but not both

Over a period of years, my mother discovers the internet:
Mother: I asked your cousin to look for information about this on the internet, but could you do it too?
Me: Um, I could....but why?
Mother: His internet could be different!
Mother: [Your aunt] just emailed me a story about a man who died of a ruptured colon.
Me: Ew!
Mother: (sotto voce) It was because he was having sex with a horse!
Me: MOM!....Oh, I think I got that email, too.
Mother: At first, I thought maybe he died because the horse kicked him in the head when he tried, know....But it was because the horse was the one that--
Mother: Could you set up our universal remote?
Sibling{2/4}(professional IT guy): Sure, do you have the manual? Otherwise I can't find the right codes.
Mother: Can't you just look it up on the internet?
Sibling{2/4}: (stunned silence....looks around to see if he just stepped through a wormhole)


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