Thursday, August 6, 2009

on tactical support

Stray thoughts on questionable choices in questionable films:

(1) Streetfighter: Legend of Chun Li
- Why would you punch someone and then shoot him? Why would you shoot an arrow at a kidnappee before sending in the ninjas to nab him? Why would you send your ninjas into a building and then blow it up with a bazooka? How does someone with the tactical skill of a baby duckling become an enforcer for a big-time crime boss?

(2) X-Men Origins: Wolverine
- If you had a single weapon that you believed could possibly kill your otherwise invincible enemy, why would you not give that weapon to any of the people you sent to kill him, including the guy whose superpower is preternatural skill with that very type of weapon?
- How does Deadpool bend his arms while those two-foot-long katanas are retracted?

(3) Couples Retreat
- Okay, so this movie isn't out yet, but the trailer looks extremely meh*. I also find it kind of creepy that Kristen Bell and Jason Bateman play a married couple, because I think of Kristen Bell as a teenager on Veronica Mars, and I think of Jason Bateman during the same period as the father of a teenager on Arrested Development, so all I can think of while watching them together is "Dude, Sheriff Enrico Colantoni is gonna shoot you in the face if he sees you with Veronica."


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