Friday, August 5, 2011

rosencrantz and guildenstern are wizards

Thank MR for this one, since he introduced me to WTF D&D, with which I have been wasting a great deal of my employer's time lately. Hey, state labor law requires that I take at least one break during the day. It would be a dishonor to the memory of all those Pullman Strike people if I didn't goof off for a half-hour every day.

Now, granted, a lot of these monsters logically could not exist. But it's magic, right? Wizards did it. This monster, though, is special, and by special, I mean enraging. It offends me not as a gamer, but as a sentient being. This monster ontologically could not exist, which is a little, you know, beyond. It has roughly human intelligence but no conception of death? WTF, indeed! How can you have self-awareness and not have a conception of death? If you understand that you exist, how does that not also imply the opposite possibility, that you don't necessarily have to exist? You exist, and unless you're YHWH (and if you're reading this and You're YHWH, well, I'm either incredibly flattered or utterly unsurprised), you know you haven't always existed, and so one day a little later maybe you won't exist, and BAM, conception of death, embedded in the conception of life. As far as basic concepts go, you don't get much more basic than that. It's as if you said "this monster is capable of learning to add, but not subtract." Eff you, monster. Eff you and your impossible thoughts. You don't understand death? Here, my +1 scimitar of intellectual fury will teach you....

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